When you yell for me around the house, "MOM!! MOM!!" It melts my heart every time and sometimes put me into a little state of shock or panic, maybe!? I am your mom. Crazy. It's hard to explain, but heck I'll try. As a woman I knew that I had the opportunity to be a mom, it's just there and you know you can pick a partner, preferably be in love and have a baby. Sounds simple enough to some I guess, but it wasn't for me. To be honest I was off and on about becoming a mother. I knew that it would be something so awesome to experience, but I had friends that were moms and I heard how expensive it was, how tired you are, how your body changes and will never be the same. Now that I think about it all I heard was negative stuff. I even had one person tell me that "it's not all what it's cracked up to be" - exact words and what terrible words they were and are.
Well I found an amazing partner that wanted a little girl as much as I did. I was "on" at the moment about having a baby. When we found out we were expecting a baby it was the most amazing, overwhelming moment of our lives and especially mine. I knew I had to do most of the work getting you here healthy and safely. Well you exceeded all expectations. Not only did you arrive healthy and safely, but you were more beautiful than I ever imagined. You were perfect. I knew from the moment you were placed in my arms that I was blessed. I've been unsure about God and his presence off and on throughout life, but now and especially then I was sure. God is real. He has blessed me. He trusts me. He has given me the most amazing gift. Crazy.
I take being a mom very seriously. I wish others did, so you wouldn't have to be surrounded by idiots and assholes. Anyway, I take what I teach you, the way I speak to you, the things I let you do and don't do, the things you eat (I have no say when a Grandma is around, mind you), the content you watch on t.v., the way I discipline you all very seriously and with thought (well at least I try really, really hard). If I act irrational maybe because I am tired or upset I definitely learn from that or if I rethink the scenario I know how I will handle it better in the future. I just always want the best for you. I want us to talk and talk and talk about everything. I want to listen and listen and listen to you. My mom was an ok mom, so I know what I was lacking from her and I want to provide that all to you. I want to be Super Mom!! I know that there will be times in your life that you will think I am annoying, crazy, not understanding and wished you had another mom, but I want to talk about it. I want to be reasonable with you. I want to give you respect and really consider your feelings. You are a little person all your own and you deserve that.
Anyway, I take being called "mom" very seriously coming from you and always will from now that you are 19 months (19 months! Wow! Where did the time go!?) until the end of time. I love hearing you say mom and will never get sick of it!
You are such an amazing daughter so in return I want to be an amazing mom!!
On a lighter note. Here is an update of stuff you say and do right now:
You say ~ more, blue, green, yellow, orange, eye, nose, earring, corn (for popcorn), hi and bye (as loud as can be), candy, chicken (followed by a "bock"), truck, and all the animal sounds you can imagine and if the animal doesn't make a sound (giraffe) you growl!! So clever!! You say earring and point to your ears and then try to rip out mine.
You LOVE to color, pretend to feed your baby dolls and animals, put stickers on your belly, show people your belly, try to dress yourself, comb your hair and others too, hide your hands with your face when you know you're in trouble, go down the slides at the park and climb back up them, swing, run, feed yourself pretty dang well, you LOVE bath time and would stay in there for hours if I let you.
Your favorite thing to do it be outside and throw rocks, play in the sand at the park and run, run, run! I started working out just so I can keep up with you.
We don't have any plans this weekend which is kind of nice, but we always find an adventure to go on and have a blast no matter what.
Thanks for being such a good, good girl! Always making me smile. Making my life a thousand times more enjoyable than I ever imagined and for just making me proud.
Love you!
Love,
mommy
p.s. check out these 2 darling pics I found on Grandma's phone. They are oldies but cuties! We miss Aunt Brittany for sure!!
No comments:
Post a Comment