Dear Maizy,: Trust.

Dear Maizy,

Before I was expecting you I was always torn on becoming a mother. It was a role I was so hot and cold about, off and on, positive and negative, let's just say I was all over the map about being a person's mom. I mean it's a HUGE job and responsibility! I am not sure everyone or anyone I know for that matter thinks like I do - that could be good and bad. Good because I over analyze to much stuff too often and put a lot of thought into some things. Bad because some women become mom's because that's what "women do" and they may not want it or even strive to be good at it. I want to be a mom, a good one.

I think about this quote often:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Anyway, I remember talking to my co-worker years ago. This co-worker was not just not anyone, it happened to be Branden Campbell, vocals and bass guitarist for the band The Neon Trees, we used to work together before he was famous, ok anyway, we were talking about kids and he said that being a parent was the coolest thing ever. Then he told me this and it has always stuck with me - "Your kids just have so much trust in you. My daughter Katie was standing up on something and said "dad, catch me!" and just jumped right to me trusting that I would catch her. I just thought that was really cool." And I did too. I never forgot that simple little story. You trust that I will be there to "catch you."

You trust me. You have too. I take you trusting me with all that I am. I do my best to make the best decisions for you every single day. I have to make sure I buy the best diapers, the most nutritional and yummy food for you, the right clothes and shoes, the best doctor, medicine, provide you with a safe and clean home, make sure you have clean clothes, towels and bedding and that is just some of the things I (we as parents) do. I love doing all of these things for you, but it's not just me, it's your father too. I honestly don't know what we would do without him. You truly have an amazing father!

We love you so much and take such pride in you, our home, each other and being your parents. You make me proud every minute of every day.

Last night I was giving you a bath and you trusted me to lie you back in the water and hold on to you. You loved it! You put your head back in the water, was closing your eyes and kicking your legs. I was slowly pouring water on your tummy and we were humming a little song. I would try to sit you up, but you were totally relaxed and wanted to continue lying back in the water. I will always cherish that moment.

I feel bad when I think of other children that don't have a chance and aren't given one from the very moment they are born. I seriously get so mad when parents take their children for granted and neglect them. UGH! I never want to take you for granted. You are a special, special child.

Anyway, last night after our awesome bath time. I got you in your jammies and we played in your room. You were climbing from the ottoman (which rocks) to your rocking chair. Dangerous! You were having a blast!! You are such a little climber. I love watching you play and giggle.

Look how happy you were with yourself.