My dad used to say to me "if I could go back knowing what I know now, I would do things different." I believe this to be true for some things, but not all because that is how we learn and what makes us who we are.
I do know one thing though I would not have worried so much about what others thought and just decided to be happy!! Be happy for being myself, expressing myself the way my heart chose, doing what I felt was right, just truly being my true self before the ripe old age of 30. My superiors used to always say "what would people think?" "Don't embarrass me!" "Why did you do that?" Etc., etc. As a child and especially a teen I never knew how to express myself without just breaking down and crying (ask Aunt Brittany) and then you lose attention of your audience (parents, teachers, whoever you are trying to defend or explain yourself to). It was SO frustrating and just awful. I just wanted to be happy, but was taught to make others happy!! Well screw that! You do that to a point, but really make yourself happy, right down to your core!!
For example, if you want to go dance in the rain - DO IT! If you want to wear a big red fancy hat to McDonald's - DO IT! If you want to steal a car - DON'T DO IT!! If you want to tell a boy or girl that you like them or admire them - DO IT!! If you want to color your apple purple when everyone else's is red - DO IT!! If you want to jump off a bridge because everyone else is - DON'T DO IT!! Then when someone asks you why you did something answer them intelligently and with complete confidence as to why you did! Don't cry!! Is this making sense? I would be so happy to discuss and talk to you about this further. I lacked confidence and still do! It wasn't instilled in me and I never realized how important it was until I became a mother. It's huge. It's key!
You will never see a President of the United States, or an astronaut or a performing artist that lacks confidence. They put them self out there! They got there because they did what made them happy, told everyone else "screw it, I will be happy and do what I want" and exercised their confidence. Did they always succeed?? Maybe not, but at least they tried! And why!?!? Because they had confidence.
Maizy, I just want you to be happy. No one can truly make you happy except for yourself. All the unhappy people that I know, and unfortunately there are a lot of them, blame someone else for their unhappiness and failures!! ALWAYS!! I can't think of one person that blames them self. I am truly happy. Do I have regrets? Well sure! Just a few, but they are ones that I can still change. Like I wish I would have gone to college, stuck to it and had a degree, but I still have time. Do I wish I never married my x? Well sure, but then again it makes me appreciate life SO much more and I learned many great things from that experience.
Don't worry too much about what people think. Use your confidence to your advantage! Be happy!! Know that I love you unconditionally and am always here for you my darling!!
I Love You!!
Love,
Mom
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